EveryDay

Relational Ministry SKILLS,

2012-01-08T11:18:00.000-06:00

We Build

Relational Ministry Skills

Lived...

Living Room Summit #4

2011-10-11T10:44:00.000-05:00

I have intentional ways to do family ministry. I have structure and vocabulary.

These are practical, hooked to life ideas. Not heady, ivory tower, theoretical which is were most conferences go.

My staff would not let me come back unless I came to this. Now I know why.

I am coming away with new ideas and enthusiasm. I feel I am able to bring God back to the home and the congregation.

I have am able to give names for some things we’re already doing right.

Thanks for the learning places - your homes and your congregations.

Head, Heart, Hand, and Holiness. It changes the interactions.

Building Bridges will be a huge part of our congregation.

I have always wanted to do something with parents, Marilyn has provided a way.

I will be using the relational circles with kids to listen to their ideas.

I have personal ways to shape my family and talk to my daughter about God. I have ways to pray with my own family.

I feel this is another way of God pointing me in the right direction.

Our family ministry team has heard the research, now they will know what to do with it.

This was great parent education before I become a parent.

Another way of God pointing me in the right direction.

I will send my youth minister to the next one.

PML CAMP for early adolescents -

2011-08-12T07:47:00.000-05:00

Kids are either leading or they are leaving.

Our early adolescent camp held at Luther Park in Danbury, WI. Invited congregations to bring a few of their best confirmation age youth, plus a few trusted, and experienced high school youth, along with a couple key adults to experience the newest early adolescent curriculum.

We experienced incredible campfires, sang, played, canoed, worked laughed, swam and all the wonderful things we do at camp. But the theme was Peer Ministry Leadership. Youth took this time very serious. They entered into some honest and insightful conversations. While they do not go nearly as deep as they would with the main 16 session curriculum they get enough to start to shape an attitude and foundation of understanding the need to care and welcome all people in all places.

Peer Ministry Leadership is less about a curriculum and is more about creating a culture of youth ministry. It is less about the group and more about the ministry. It is less about attendance and more about how faith is lived everyday.

Next year? Interested in bringing a group? AUG 5-9, 2012

NE AREA SYNOD PML CAMP!

2011-06-17T13:59:00.001-05:00

Just back from a wonderful camp experience, mostly because of a wonderful group of High School youth from NE Minnesota. The group was eager and ready to learn. They seemed to greatly value everything that Peer Ministry Leadership could offer.

One of my favorite “Ah-Ha’s” was the experiences that led to understanding that, “Every person has a story.” I think this group left being people who wanting to respectful know and care for every person, understanding each as created and loved by God. And! They know how to do this.

Living Room Summit #3

2011-05-11T07:32:00.001-05:00

LISA - I feel hopeful that we can turn things around and have our ministry become what we want it to be for our kids.

ROCKY - We’ve heard and know this stuff. You’ve given us a “how” to do it. You’ve given us permission not just to do one model. We can make it our own, to fit our congregation.

LINDA - Being able to have hope for our families that we can fill a need and make a difference. Sometimes we forget that we are already doing many things right.

TERRI - I leave more equipped. It affirms the things I believe. Even though I am teaching pre-school today, it affirmed my gifts.

ARLAN - Showed me that God has already done the work through Jesus. We just have to share the story and send kids and families out to share the story.

LORI - Home altars are the first thing I want to get going. I didn’t realize it’s simple. I loved the warm affirmations and good conversations.

HEIDI - I’ve been wandering around for the last couple of years, but I am coming away with direction. I am leaving with joy - joy for ministry, permission to be who I am called to be. I can do this!

PENNY: Thankful. All of us want to change things. I appreciate the leadership. I will decide what I want to eliminate.

EMBER: I feel affirmed in my goals, objectives and mission. I’m not just the Sunday school lady!

MELANIE: I need to just “be.” I’m taking home the “Be still and know that I am God prayer.”

BETH: Empowered. People want to pass on the faith. I want to help people celebrate their gifts.

MARIA: When I have attended other continuing education in the past, I have felt overwhelmed. It was great being able to experience Building Bridges and Parent Share. These are simple tools I can bring back to church to engage parents.

RICK: Creating sacred time and space for the congregation. I want to empower people in how they worship at home, during church council and at staff meetings.

KRISTA. I feel affirmed. Family ministry is messy and it’s OK. Family Ministry is holy chaos and roll with it. The holy chaos is sacred and holy time.

MARK - Two things are most memorable: Today is the most vibrant day in the life of the Church. It’s not our job to teach parents, but to resource them.

from Taylor – at St. Jude of the Lake

2011-04-20T13:13:00.001-05:00

I’m so excited about beginning to work with peer ministers at our parish. I know that working with our youth to become peer ministers will enliven in them (and in myself) a greater intentionality and awareness of their everyday call to ministry as disciples of Jesus. Participating in the training for adult facilitators took the manual off of the page, and allowed me to understand how to put the training in action. When scanning through the written manual I felt excited about what it could offer, but uncertain of how it would look for our youth. In attending the training, I gained a confident vision of the content as well as how to bring it to life for our high school peer ministers.

LIVING ROOM SUMMIT - FULL!

2011-04-13T08:26:00.004-05:00

Family Ministry

Learn It Where People Live It

Join us in our Minneapolis area homes

APRIL 26 - 28, 2011 FULL

OCT 4-6, 2011 People now Registering!

Eat with us. Play with us. Pray with us. Learn with us.

We've learned the language

read the research

studied the theology

heard inspiring speakers

about youth and family ministry

Now is the time

to make family ministry a reality.

Experience ministries that you can replicate and adapt

for your homes and congregations.

CLICK for article on day ONE

CLICK for article on day TWO

CLICK for article on day THREE

Full Circle: Triple-A Training

2011-04-13T06:35:00.003-05:00

(On THU of the LIving Room Summits you will experience the trainer of trainers for Full Circle relationships. )

With Lyle Griner

Gathering at one of the tables were the parents, godparents, an aunt and uncle, a couple of neighbors, and a family friend. Julia's parents invited them as people who are already caring adults for Julia. For the next five hours, the group will discover the importance and impact they have on Julia's faith and life. Together, they will have discussions, do activities and practice skills that will further guide them in being intentionally caring and affirming adults for Julia and other youth. For Julia, this group will be part of her cloud of witnesses. (Heb. 13:1) These people will learn practical ways to talk about faith, to affirm gifts, and to be conscious of the everyday milestones, as they are involved in Julia's life. These are already good people, but they will come away being more intentional and having lots of tools to guide them.

"I always wanted to be a good uncle, but now I have ways I will be intentional about it," says one participant.

Full Circle is a four session experience for adults, written by Tom Schwolert and Lyle Griner. The idea came after a discussion about all the research, theology and lectures that point to the importance of each youth being surrounded by a circle of caring adults. Still, there seems to be little out there that practically builds up and affirms the everyday importance of faith-nurturing adults.

Speaking about youth ministry, Tom says, "It is still about the numbers. Only the numbers game has changed. Instead of being so concerned about how many youth show up for events, now I am more concerned about how many faithful adults surround each of my kids."

Author and leading expert in youth and family ministry, Mark DeVries, suggests that the big shift for congregational youth ministers is the understanding that the "primary work [is] ensuring that each student in the ministry has multiple godly adults pouring into his or her life." Mark calls for youth ministers to intentionally be an "architect of a constellation of relationships."

At the Living Room Summit, Lyle Griner will lead the group through Full Circle Training, giving them practical ways to lead it in their own congregations. They may choose to lead it with:

congregational leaders, who desire to make faith formation a priority,
circles of parents and the people they invite,
mentors or other adults who work with youth,
or, most recently, as Tom is discovering, going into a family's home, along with some of their friends, neighbors and relatives for an evening, working through the Full Circle experience.

If I seriously believed that...

faith is formed by the power of the Holy Spirit through personal trusted relationships

Then I would...

ensure that every kid is encircled by an abundance of faith-nurturing people.

I would want...

lots of Triple-A Adults, people who are affirming, available, and authentic.

I would do this by...

training and empowering adults with specific skills and practices for connecting faith with daily life.

I would witness these adults...

sharing a vibrant faith through caring conversations, devotions, rituals and traditions, and service.

Adults would become intentional about...

seeking out ways and times to support and nurture the faith formation of youth and families.

Want to learn more?

Two Options!

1. Come to the Living Room Summit!

2. Saturate your congregation with an introduction to this ministry with Lyle or Tom. Inquire about this possibility or schedule time by contacting Lyle at EMAIL.

3. Begin by ordering the four session downloadable manual. $24.95 (CLICK HERE will take you to the Vibrant Faith store.)

Parenting Education and Support for All Ages and Stages

2011-04-13T06:29:00.002-05:00

(On WED of the Living Room Summits you will visit Parent Share and then learn from Marilyn in her Living Room during the afternoon.)
with Marilyn Sharpe

"Parenting is inherently a profound and transforming spiritual journey for both parent and child...Growing kids faithfully will take you a lifetime and always be in process."

- from For Heaven's Sake! - by Marilyn Sharpe

Every Wednesday morning of the year for the past 32 years, Marilyn has been at her congregation, involved in parent education. She is either facilitating Parents Share, a

parenting group in which parents celebrate their strengths, give and receive support, and glean wisdom from other parents, or teaching a parenting class.

Why? Especially in an area where there is such a commitment to and wide-spread availability of early childhood education, why would she do this in a church? Since Marilyn believes that parenting is inherently a spiritual endeavor, and she knows that virtually all parents feel ill-prepared to do this, our congregations need to be equipping posts. She is committed to braiding together the best in parenting skills with effective, practical faith formation for all of a family's life together.

What? Wednesday we will:

Discuss the creation, care, and tending of a parent support group
Experience a parenting group
Explore how you might do this in your congregation
Identify the top issues in parenting
Examine resources for congregation-based parent education
Sample a parenting class
Plan for your congregation

Marilyn is a parent, a grandparent, and a Certified Family Life Educator, with a mad passion both for parenting and for passing on faith to the children and youth we love. She knows firsthand the joys and sorrows, the triumphs and challenges of being a family.

She is committed to helping parents become the best and most effective they can be. Marilyn helps parents and congregations work together to pass on faith and values to all of the children and youth. She is dedicated to helping congregations equip households to nurture faith in all of the generations, all of the time, wherever they are.

Want to learn more?

Two Options!

1. Come to the Living Room Summit! (see below)

2. Saturate your congregation with an introduction to this ministry with Marilyn Sharpe. Inquire about this possibility or schedule time with Marilyn by contacting her by EMAIL.

Building Bridges / Milestones

2011-04-13T06:24:00.003-05:00

(At the Living Room Summit you will learn from Andrea in her Living Room and the join her families at Mount Calvary to experience Building Bridges!)
with Andrea Fieldhouse Griner

"Don't expect families to do in their homes what they have not practiced hands on in the congregation."

- David Lynn

Mount Calvary Lutheran in Excelsior, MN takes this wisdom seriously. Andrea Fieldhouse Griner says, "We know that parents are the primary faith models. They genuinely want God's love and faith to be central. All that our parents want to know is how to pray with their kids. They want to know the simplest stuff, but they generally feel ill-equipped when it come to church and faith-stuff."

So... Mount Calvary found the times that work best for their families to gather: once a month on Wednesday night, for Building Bridges, and twice a year on Sunday mornings for Mt Calvary's unique way of honoring Milestones.

On Wednesday nights, families enter and sit around one of the 2'x2' tables scattered throughout the room. Here, they are invited into a variety of faith practices, conversations, and experiences. All of these are experienced as models for living faith every day as a family.

During Building Bridges, families unpack their own home altars from a box they brought from home.

They lay out colorful altar cloths, favorite candles, and collections of favorite items that remind them of God's presence. They practice blessings, such as, "God be in my head. God be in my heart. God be to my left. God be to my right." They practice reading stories to each other from various Bibles. They enter into faith conversations and practice a variety of ways to pray. Even the spiritual practice of silence - yes, even with very young kids - becomes a learned ritual.

At each grade level, parents and children gather twice a year for a variety of Milestones. The emphasis for Mount Calvary is teaching families to share blessings in the home.

Heartstrings are tugged, as young people dip their fingers into water of baptismal bowls and trace the sign of the cross on their parents' foreheads saying, "Thank you for keeping your promise to God." It is here that parents, with their children, learn ways to fulfill the very promises they made at baptism.

Mt Calvary goes far beyond what many congregations hope will translate into faith practices at home. Take home sheets, ideas on web sites, or book suggestions are not enough. Learning by doing and experiencing meaningful and loving connections while they are together in the congregation lead to the confidence and ability to repeat what they are learning at home. It is most fun to listen to the children tell you...

"We do this before we go to bed."

"I set up our home altar right on my box."

"My mom blesses me every day before I go to school."

They can tell you how faith is recognized every day, everywhere and in every relationship.

Want to learn more?

Two Options!

1. Come to the Living Room Summit! (see below)

2. Saturate your congregation with an introduction to this ministry by Andrea Fieldhouse Griner. Inquire about this possibility or schedule time with Andrea by contacting EveryDay

PML in Rice Lake & in Minneapolis

2011-04-08T17:46:00.000-05:00

Bethany Lutheran in Rice Lake, WI brought together their Pastors, Youth Director, Education Director, an all-age cross section of the congregation including some amazing youth. This is a congregation that is ready to move fully ahead with caring and welcoming ministry.

PML - Open enrollment training with Matt Myers and Lyle Griner, held at The Church of Christ the King Catholic in Minneapolis brought together people from several Catholic Communities, Presbyterian, Lutheran and representatives from the Twin Cities Arch Diocese and the Youth Forum organization.

Who love you and helps you love God?

2011-03-13T14:20:00.001-05:00

By Katie Christsen

Full Circle ministry is not a curriculum or a program, but rather something that gives focus and language to how we as Christians arecalled to live into and out of our Baptismal promises to one another. It's not new. In fact, it's what we've always been called to be about and it's how faith has always been passed on. This is not just a youth thing... it's a congregational thing. Over this past year, as Bethlehem began to think about Faith Circles, we have begun to be more aware of the people in our midst who we are called to journey alongside.

In my own life as a mother of a 6 and 8 year old, I have marveled at the way my children get what this is all about. Out of curiosity, one night I asked them if they were able to name 10 people who love them and love God. At first they only named family members, but as we began to be more intentional about talking about the people around them that love them and love God, they caught on. My children name their faith circles at night during devotions and their circles have grown as their awareness has grown. When they claim a new partner in their journey, you can bet I make sure to share it with that person and the delight and honor on the faces of those who have been claimed is priceless. In doing so, they are given permission to enter into my children's lives in a more intentional way. My children are leading the way as they claim these adults and call them to task in the promises that were made to them in Baptism.

As is always the case, relationships in Christ are never one-sided. As adults enter more intentionally into the care and responsibility of faith passing, we are beginning to hear stories of adult faith growth as well. Adults are beginning to think about the people who have been and who are currently a part of their own faith circles. In this the spirit reminds us of the important role each of those people has played in faith development.

In closing, a few months ago, I was putting my then 5-year old to bed and I was so struck by her giftedness. I said to her, "Kylie, do you know how many wonderful gifts God has put inside of you?" She looked at me perplexed and said, "But Mommy, I don't know how to open them." It was at that moment that I could look at her with all the confidence in the world and say, "Kylie, you don't need to know, because all of the people that you name every night who love you and love God are going to help you!" I'm not sure what I would have said had she not been aware of her faith circle, but from her smile I could see that she felt the same confidence that I was feeling. Praise God!

Texas PML Retreat

2011-03-03T06:44:00.000-06:00

Tom Schwolert from Faith Lutheran in in Flower Mound, TX recently led a retreat that included 50 youth from his and neighboring churches. Tom’s continues to be one of the bet in the country at building spiritual leadership in youth and the adults who surround him. Take a few minutes to scan the following quotes from some of the participants.

PML helps me listen to people who need to talk to someone. I helps people get through had times without having to face the judgement of others. Everyone needs someone to talk to. – Jared

PML helps people and me realize that faith is a light. – Lindsey

Listening is such a huge aspect of helping our peers and it’s great to be in an environment where we can learn and practice that. – Jazzy

This weekend brought me closer to old friends and new friends. I realized the importance of having a peer who is able to minister to friends. – Katlin

I have learned how to respect others and value them more by listening and loving. I understand more about myself and others through God’s love. – Rebecca

PML helps spread the word without being pushy or in people’s face. It helps me be a better friend and leader. – Sydney

This weekend helped me grow in my abilities as a listener as well as meeting some great people who will strengthen me and my faith – Michael

I like PML because it introduced me to a group of people that understands and learns good social skills all tied with our faith. – Caleb

The weekend helped me meet new people, get closer to people I know and help me realize that God is everywhere we look. – Scott

PML is important because it can be used to help in everyday life situations. –Max

PML is about meeting new people and learning to listen to others while creating friendships. Now that I know the skills I can help others grow in their faith and become closer to God. – Sarah

PML helps people help others. – Jason

PML is important because everyone deserves to be ministered to. It is a gift that can be given anytime and anywhere. – Delaney

Lodi Lutherans and Methodists share in PML training.

2011-02-15T07:14:00.000-06:00

“This is not just for youth.” - The group seemed to agree that our time together was worth it, not only for the sake of youth but also for the adults. Pastor Mike Lee, at First Lutheran in Lodi will be weaving in the themes on Sunday mornings as others mentor the skills and attitudes into their growing Logos program on WED nights.

MY YOUTH MINISTRY MANIFESTO

2011-01-09T17:59:00.000-06:00

First, I confess. The first versions of this article could only be described as snarky. There are those moments I want to yell out, “Stop doing it that way” or “Stop making excuses” or “Why don’t you just...” My advisory people helped me get over it. I have recovered from the snarkies.

The truth is, I love youth ministry. It chose me early in life and I have been unable to escape it. For me, there is nothing more exciting or energizing than watching the sparks of light turn on in kids. For some reason, I have always been good at creating growing groups, filled kids who have caring and welcoming hearts. I have always looked at kids and assumed they were my partners in ministry, my team, my staff. I learned early on that kids, when viewed this way, exceeded every expectation for leadership I had.

I have some beliefs that have followed me through the years. These beliefs still guide me in my coaching and teaching, helping groups re-vision, helping young youth ministers jump ahead, or helping organize a leadership team, who do not have funding to hire staff to lead their ministry.

Below (you will want to click over to my blog to read it all) is some of what drives me. (Most snarkiness has been removed.)

My hope for this writing? That you will respond to it!

What catches your attention?
Want to talk, argue, add your own, “I believes...

join in at the bottom of this blog
or join in a discussion via webinar on THU JAN 20th, 10 AM central standard time (EMAIL me for directions )
or just get on the phone and call me at 612-418-5572

I believe that Youth Ministry happens EVERY DAY, EVERYWHERE and in EVERY RELATIONSHIP.
Bringing people to a church building is not the objective. Still, much of what we do in congregations feels like it is. Living faith every day, everywhere and in every relationship are the ministry outcomes I hope for. It is faith and life, shared with peers, with families, at school, at work, in neighborhoods, across the world and with the body of Christ. It is front lines Good Samaritan leadership that I foster.

I believe in YOUTH MINISTRY.
I believe family ministry is crucial, but it is not an excuse to quit doing quality youth ministry. Kids still need the models of peers. Kids greatly influence the faith of other kids. Kids try out ideas, thoughts, beliefs and behaviors in relationship with their peers. Congregations are those grace-filled places that connect kids in welcoming, meaningful, and significant ways.

I believe effective Youth Ministry is built around a YOUTH TEAM.
Youth ministry is not led by one person. It is led by a team of well-trained, relational adults and youth. If youth are led by only one person, your numbers will most likely hover in the neighborhood of 6 to 10 kids. That is one person’s relational capacity. Where there is a well-equipped youth team, the potential expands. I don’t like using the words “volunteer” or “chaperone.” Ministry is bigger than such labels! Think of them like a camp staff - people relationally trained to work with a few kids, giving life and energy to the larger group.

I believe in youth ministry that is growing in NUMBERS.
I know, we all say, “It is not about the numbers. It is about the depth.” Ministry
grows in numbers when there is depth. Ministry that is not growing in numbers may have become a closed club or not found purpose and meaning. Ministry is not about a list of kids. We live in communities. Every time youth gather, a litany needs to be spoken saying, “Our youth ministry is open to every kid in our community and we are glad you are here!” If you only have six kids in your congregation it may be time for a broader vision.

I believe kids make time for what is MOST IMPORTANT.
“Kids are too busy, with too many pressures.” Yes, they are, but that is exactly why they need people and places for sanity and grounding. They desperately need grace space! When the mission is real, meaningful, and purposeful, kids will make time.

I believe kids will show up for WORSHIP.
Especially when they are involved and their voices are present. It is less about contemporary verses traditional and more about kids leading and seeing other kids leading. Are kids’ issues heard in the prayer petitions or in the sermon illustrations? Kids go where they are needed! Kids go where they are known and blessed. If we want kids in worship, include them in multiple ways.

I believe good youth ministry is built around DEPTH.
Stop thinking, “Oh, if we had more fun things for our kids to do, they would show up.” The foundation of youth ministry is not the word, “Fun.” Bigger and better hayrides are not the answer. Kids are hungry for chances for honest faith talk and life discussions. They gravitate towards spiritual practices. They want a faith that is actively making a difference in the world, helping them help others. Kids will of course create fun. It is who they are. Adults don’t always need to create it. As adults we need to allow it.

I believe youth ministry is about CREATING ATMOSPHERE.
I believe it is less about “Youth Group” and more about “Youth Ministry.” Maybe it is just a Lyleism, but for me “Youth Group” faces inward, becoming a club. “Youth Ministry” faces outward caring and welcoming every neighbor. This caring and welcoming relational atmosphere takes time and intentional direction.

I believe youth ministry is about BUILDING LEADERSHIP and DISCIPLESHIP.
Leadership is less about kids planning meetings or speaking in microphones more about Good Samaritan Leadership. I love seeing kids lead relationally, welcoming and caring for other. Microphones and committees really fit very few kids. But, every kid has relationships in which God is in the midst.

I believe kids learn from RELATIONAL MENTORS.
Curriculums are what they are, but they are beginning guides. (Buy mine!) But, kids know when they are only being taught out of a manual. Kids believe and act when they are led by relationally mentoring people, who live the curriculum.

I believe confirmation (for those who do this) needs really good HIGH SCHOOL LEADERSHIP.
Everyone keeps reinventing confirmation. That is okay, but, the assumption is that since kids quit coming after confirmation, the curriculum must be bad. I have observed that even congregations with great confirmation programs still have their kids leave ... unless, unless there are magnetic high school youth, who are relationally connected with them. You need that relational Youth Team of older kids who care and are involved and model Good Samaritan leadership.

I believe that creating a WEB OF SPIRITUAL RELATIONSHIPS is the primary job for youth ministry.
Counting numbers is less about how many kids showed up at a particular event and more about how many faithful relationships surround each kid. (Thank you, Tom Schwolert.) Think of yourself as a relational director, empowering spiritual relationships with other kids, families, congregation members and others. You create the youth staff or team, the peer ministry leaders, the mentors, the opportunities for caring conversations between kids and the elderly, and yes, with their own families. These are the numbers that make a bigger difference in kids’ faith.

I believe PEER MINISTRY LEADERSHIP is essential.
Peer Ministry Leadership is less about a training or curriculum, although that is how I begin with congregations. Peer Ministry Leadership is about creating a culture of Good Samaritan Leaders. This is learned by people who live it, teach it, and help guide it in others’ lives. It really is the grass roots relational ministry of being called to do likewise, which is needed by all Christians at every age.

I believe in FAMILY MINISTRY.
Families will not do faith practices in their homes until they have had opportunities to practice them, hands on, in your congregation. (Thank you, David Lynn) All parents really want to know is how pray with their kids. They want the simplest of ideas. (Thank you, Andrea Fieldhouse.) Children become who their families are, thus the importance of helping shape spiritual families. (And if you have not been to a Living Room Summit... Get there! We are putting wheels on all the studies and practices.)

I believe solid Youth Ministry TAKES YEARS TO BUILD.
It takes time to build a culture. Unfortunately, it can all be destroyed in a short period of time. Congregations, not just a staff person, need to own the vision and direction. If you get a new plan every time a new person is hired or appointed, you will be starting over again, and again, and again. New staff need to follow a congregation’s vision.

I believe there is MONEY for youth ministry.
If youth ministry is one of your congregation’s top priorities, then it has to be funded. If it is not funded from a budget, then there are other ways. “Creative worthwhile ministry comes from outside budgets.” (Thank you, Dr. Dick Hardel) Share the vision, pray, ask, believe... If it is worth doing, it is worth communicating and asking for financial partners.

Blog Entry: THE PEER REVIEW

2011-01-02T12:56:00.000-06:00

NEW FOR 2011!

THE PEER REVIEW - for People in Children, Youth and Family Ministries

There it was all laid out on the table, my ministry, my work, my soul, my passions, my fears, strengths and weaknesses. I presented it all. Laid it on the table for my Peers to ask me the tough questions, to take me deeper, encourage me, help me, and move me through my road blocks. I asked them to be my truth tellers. These were other Youth and Family Ministers, in other congregations, doing similar work with similar hopes, fears, and dreams.

I had gone to the conferences, special speakers, workshops and trainings always advancing and growing my skills. But this was very different. These were people like me. They were invested in me because they lived, valued and believed in similar ministry. These people could understand from a real perspective.

My group experience formed after a researcher pulled us together to find out what made youth ministry work. After his interview we decided to meet for a series of months taking turns sharing what we did, why we did it, and how we worked. For me the experience was effective, discerning, and helpful, further shaping and expanding my ministry.

Out of this experience comes something new THE PEER REVIEW. An opportunity for you to critique and advance your ministry, while receiving professional coaching and professional spiritual direction.

GO TO WEB DETAILS NOW

Blog Entry: Moments of Peace

2010-12-30T09:40:00.001-06:00

Our little farm house, in the middle of the city, was graced by many during the longest night of the year. We have paused, and gathered with friends and families, raised our glasses and filled our plates. We sang, partied, prayed and paused in moments of peace.

Peace on earth! As one author pointed out, at the birth of Jesus there was anything but peace. A number of conflicts, conquerors and wars persisted. Still God shows up and in the midst of it all there are moments of peace to be found.

EveryDay LLC is now one year old. It was a good enough year to believe the next will be even better. Peer Ministry became Peer Ministry Leadership. The very first Living Room Summits were held. A number of Campus Ministry groups were trained, and the joy of helping others recognize a ministry for every day, everywhere and in every relationship gave meaning and moments of peace as God continues to show up.

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year.

Lyle

Waiting For The Ordinary

2010-12-21T05:52:00.000-06:00

One does not always have to wait for something out of the ordinary. The all-important thing is to keep your eyes on what comes from God and to make way for it to come into being here on the earth. If you always try to be heavenly and spiritually minded, you won't understand the everyday work God has for you to do. But if you embrace what is to come from God, if you live for Christ's coming in practical life, you will learn that divine things can be experienced here and now, things quite different from what our human brains can ever imagine. --- by Christoph Friedrich Blumhardt, from Action in Waiting

blog entry: SEEING AND NOT SEEING

2010-12-14T06:10:00.000-06:00

by Anthony de Mello, from The Way to Love

You see persons and things not as they are but as you are. If you wish to see them as they are you must attend to your attachments and the fears that your attachments generate. Because when you look at life it is these attachments and fears that will decide what you will notice and what you block out. Whatever you notice then commands your attention. And since your looking has been selective you have an illusory version of the things and people around you. The more you live with this distorted version the more you become convinced that it is the only true picture of the world because your attachments and fears continue to process incoming data in a way that will reinforce your picture.

Capacity Crowd Enjoys Fall Diocesan Youth Conference

2010-12-07T12:04:00.000-06:00

(It is so fun to hear back from groups! Here is a clip from a news letter from an Episcopal group in the Indianapolis area. Nathan Griner, as in my son, was the fantastic music leader!)

100 Junior and Senior high youth and their adult leaders enjoyed worship, music, discussion/reflection times, fun, and learning activities at the annual diocesan youth conference November 19-21. It was the first time in recent memory the event was filled to capacity.

Youth participant Will Burton-Edwards said, “I thought Fall Conference went incredibly well. The food was excellent (as always at Waycross!), and it was great to see some of my friends again. The music was fantastic, too.” Another participant, Payton Drake, said. “It was a lot of fun. I liked that it was about relationships and God instead of just God. I thought it gave us more to think about. I loved Lyle as a leader—he was awesome. We need to have him more!” Participant Jaki Anderson said, “This was the fifth conference/retreat I've had the pleasure of leading, and the seventh I have participated in overall. I always come away feeling better, stronger--and I'm always ready for the next one to begin!

Episcopal Diocese of Indianapolis

2010-11-30T07:00:00.000-06:00

100 youth plus adults gathered at WayCross camp and Retreat center entering into some challenging ways to think about relationships as ministry. Extra fun for me was that Nathan Griner, my son, joined me as the musician for the weekend.

As an education major I do have the wonderful memory of the day our professor lectured all the facts and studies on why lecturing is the least effective way to communicate. I sat listening, astounded that he was lecturing on reasons not to lecture.

A number of kids at WayCross understood also. They were involved in games, demonstrations, interviews, small groups, one on one discussions, memory techniques and more. Speaking only highlighted what they were learning from each other. Kids said they appreciated that they did not have to just listen. At the same time, it meant there was a lot of concentrated work, some of requiring a lot of emotional energy.

My hope is always that as participants go home there are real skill that will be used in real life. It always seems to be the tug of that still small voice that suggests, "You should say hello to that person." It isn't long before people discover that even the simplest human interactions are really about God.

SEATTLE

2010-11-08T17:55:00.000-06:00

Trinity Lutheran College

High school students, College Students, Pastors, Youth Ministers, Volunteers, and even a College Professor or two!

"I am excited to started!"
"The skills give lots of confidence."
"I can use this right now."
"Reinforces who I want to be."
"Enjoyed the opportunities to get to know everyone."
"So important to listen and not debate."
"A lot of this I had in my mind, but now it is deeper and can live it."
"Remarkable."
"These are skills for life."

LRS #2: We asked...

2010-10-20T10:28:00.000-05:00

Living Room Summits
#3 - APRIL 26-28, 2011 - Just Added!
#4 - OCT 4-6, 2011 - Just Added!

What are you taking home with you? What is most on your mind? What are you most excited about?

Knowledge that came through experiencing the ministries, not just being told about them. No one goes home saying, “I don’t know how,” because we have experienced it.
Don’t expect someone to do something at home without having first experienced it in the congregation. eg. Practice doing “highs and lows” with parents in the hallway.
Going home with a treasure trove of ideas and skills to take home and use them, revamp the things I’m already doing, take all three experiences and weave them into new things.
Joy and excitement
Loved the very casual, comfortable way it was presented.
Take home new tools
Networking with other participants
Looking forward to see how these ministries evolve in our congregation
As a volunteer, I cannot start new programs, but I can take the ideas back and share them with the staff and my congregation.
It helped me find my ministry voice and see a hopeful future for my congregation.
Being from a small church that grew big too fast, we have not grown deep. I came to learn how to grow deep in ministry, and that is what this has provided.
Follow your heart and keep it simple.
Wisdom about how to keep things focused on family, kids, and outcomes.
Time together as staff from the same congregation helped us to be excited about what we can do together with both of our ministry areas. We got out of our silos.
God doesn’t call the equipped, but equips the called. Thank you all for making it so comfortable and for being so open.
It has been sabbath to keep me energized.
Even the time spent commuting in the car as a staff team has helped us plan what we will do.
Opportunity to be intentional about ministry.
We are so excited that the pastors teased us that they’ll have to hold us back!
How can we bring into what is already scheduled what we’ve learned?
As a staff, we need time, like Parents Share, without an agenda, to just be present with one another.
Currently, we evaluate the success of what we do by the numbers that attend. This has given us a new way to count!
Plea: get lots of pastors here, so that they will be supportive of this ministry. Gear it just to pastors. Invite pastors in a different way. Target pastors of the staff present at this LRS.
Present this to the conference for the pastors of large congregations.
I know that I and three colleagues will go back and get it done. We have heard it together. Now, they can help me get it done, because I am not doing this as a solo, without support.
Invite teams.
Even teams need to go back to their congregations to train others.
The atmosphere was freeing and intimate. We got to know everyone. More people would have changed that.
Equip others to do it. Train the trainers.
Verses a training at Willow Creek: This was more practical and hands on.
Getting to hear from others made me feel less lonely.
My husband Rick (assoc. pastor) needs to come with Ron (sr. pr) and the whole youth department.
It is totally worth your time and money.
Loved having meals here and your hospitality.

Campus Ministries Gathering at Carthage College

2010-09-13T18:20:00.001-05:00

PML training with:

Campus Ministry - Carthage College
Catholic Campus Ministry at Carthage College
Lutheran Campus Ministry at Marquette University
Lutheran Campus Ministry at the University of Wisconsin in Milwaukee

I sense we are on target as participants reflect what they are learning and planing to use. Here is a little of my own summary.

Ministry that emphasizes more being than doing.
Ministry that is more about listening than telling.
Ministry that lets God do the God stuff and lets us do the caring and welcoming.
Ministry that is more about guiding than it is about giving advice.
Ministry that gives confidence in relating and caring for people.
Ministry happening all the time beyond the events.

PML Red Wing Retreat

2010-09-07T06:49:00.000-05:00

3 Lutheran congregations, 1 Catholic community, 1 Episcopalian parish and a Young Life group joined together at the Villa Maria for a day long Peer Ministry Leadership retreat. I was so impressed with how quickly the group responded. Many expressed their gratitude at having new understandings about ways to share faith through caring and welcoming rather than coercion.

Concordia University Portland, OR

2010-09-02T06:35:00.000-05:00

Campus Ministry continues to grow and benefit from Peer Ministry Leadership. The group at Concordia University in Portland had wonderful discussions about what ministry is and what it isn’t. They decided they did not want their ministry to be known for pressuring other students into attending events or intrusively arguing beliefs. Much of the discussion turned to the importance of being in the midst of every day university life, listening, caring, welcoming and being in the midst. It was refreshing for the group to discover new ways of being Christian other than being stereotyped into “Bible thumpers.”

The group taught me a new word as they expressed their desire to avoid to much “7-11 music.” Interpreted, 7-11 music are the songs that only have 7 words and are repeated 11 at least 11 times. Refreshing to find students looking under the surface discovering a ministry that lives every day, everywhere and in every relationship.

Open Enrollment AUG group!

2010-08-14T08:07:00.000-05:00

Represented here:

Church of Christ the King Catholic, Minneapolis, MN
Church of St. Thomas the Apostle, Minneapolis, MN
St. Joan of Arc Catholic, Minneapolis, MN
College of St. Thomas, Campus Ministry, St. Paul, MN
Mt. Calvary Lutheran, Excelsior, MN
Newport Lutheran, Newport, MN
St. John Lutheran, Owatonna, MN
Brandon Lutheran, Brandon, SD

One delightful change we made this year is to invite adults to include 1-4 students from their group when they come to one of our training times. The cross-generational atmosphere is making believers out of participants.

Co-leading is Matt Meyers from Venture Youth Ministry serving two Catholic communities. Matt was a Peer Minister Leader in his parish and years later is now the youth minister for the same parish. He is busy equipping adults and youth to care and welcome a very energetic youth ministry. We are excited to work with Matt and to soon have him be part of our training team for PML!

PML St. Louis

2010-08-08T07:58:00.000-05:00

Waking up in St. Louis! Three congregations have come together to experience PML. It's not just about training anymore. It is about shaping of people who can use the tools of training but who want youth who understand ministry is something to be lived every day, everywhere and in every relationship.

New Curriculm Blessings

2010-07-18T10:54:00.001-05:00

In the midst of writing, much of which is done from my home deck, there are those moments of blessings as a humming bird stops for a drink, a pair of curious cardinals land on the railing to watch me, or some deer wonder past watching me carefully.

The new PML curriculum for early adolescents is in the midst of it’s next versions. Pilot partners are sending in there first thoughts, and soon we will be the editing, the layout and proof readers. Everything should be ready by the end of August.

I look forward to be invited in to introduce this version of PML to your Wednesday night groups. I especially look forward to group that would like to include parents to participate.

Living Room Summit #1

2010-07-06T21:30:00.000-05:00

PASTOR JASON STANTON The format, content and leadership of the Living Room Summit made this the most helpful continuing education event I have ever been to. Growing Christ-centered relationships, connecting "Church" and "Home", and equipping adults to meet promises they make at a child's baptism may not be new, but physically sitting in the presence of families who are participating in a 'Building Bridges' experience with Andrea, or experiencing a 'Parent Share' class with Marilyn gave me real hope that this could be done in my context, too. Too often, retreats or trainings fill my head with lots of ideas, but my hands and feet are never brave enough to go for it! For anyone who learns best by actually getting out from the lecture hall and into the lives of real people, the Living Room Summit wrings reality from the theoretical. The Summit didn't just teach me; it will change my ministry.

PAM VIG Learning about family ministry in the setting of a home is brilliant! It was intimate, comfortable and so much better than sitting on hard folding chairs in a church basement or conference room. We left this conference feeling relaxed and energized, due to our gracious hosts, the comfortable setting, and the fact that we experienced the learning, rather than having to store it all in our heads.

RITA MARR Thank you for the rock solid basis on which to implement some amazing things here at Diamond Lake!

BARB FARMER The content was strong. I loved the three different approaches. Giving us the experience of the programming helped clear up many questions about logistics and implementation. I felt I had a good grasp on the content and how to go about using it in my ministry once I returned home. The length of the workshop was perfect. It gave us time to gel as a group and to absorb the content in a more peaceful way. The time for "being still" with God was such a gift. It made me feel centered and ready to go back to my ministries, rather than the overwhelmed "spin" I usually feel at the end of a workshop.

KRISTIN HILDEBRAND My expectations were not high enough. I was pleasantly surprised by all that happened. I had hoped to learn, to see real ministry happening...but to also experience connectedness with the others and fantastic sabbath was wonderful. To learn from authentic, experienced presenters was an honor! How will I ever do any other continuing ed? It won't compare!

2010-06-02T07:21:00.000-05:00

Early Adolescent PML

Writing is in process for a five session early adolescent version of Peer Ministry Leadership. The sessions fit well into retreats, confirmation, or youth ministry times. Young youth are very aware of the hurts and needs of those around them. They are hungry to figure out friendships and relationships. This will be a vital experience, that will dovetail with the full PML version presently used by high school and college groups.

Pilots... If you would be interested in being on a guiding team for this project please email me right away. We will carry out several discussions using GoToMeetings. The material will be ready by this fall for use. We will ask for feedback from those who choose to use it.

Wednesday evening speaking engagements!
If you would like Lyle to introduce Peer Ministry Leadership - caring and welcoming ministry for every day, everywhere, in every relationship - to your group, call or email today to schedule.
(612)418-5572 peermin@peerministry.org

Five Themes for Five Sessions

Session #1 Hello
Why should I say Hello? What happens after that?
· Hello represents the first action of the Good Samaritan.
· Hello is the beginning of caring for your neighbor. "Going and doing likewise."
· Hello says I see you. You are worthy of recognition and friendliness.
· Hello opens relational doors.
· Hello crosses dividing lines of culture, cliques, and creeds.

Learning to say hello is a first step of the Christian leadership style we call Good Samaritan Leadership. You never know what the other's response will be. Learning to be observant and trust the quiet tugs of the Spirit often leads to caring and welcoming ministry.

Session #`2 Human
What does it mean to be human? How do we welcome and include all?
· Human acknowledges that everyone is a creation of God.
· Human sees all people as gifted in various ways, interdependent on one another.
· Human accepts people for who they are, not who others think they should be.
· Human does not divide us into rich/poor, popular/unpopular, able/disabled, in/out, one skin color/another skin color.
· Human welcomes and includes all.

Being God's creation, human, is reason enough to welcome and include all in our congregation, community, family, schools, and circles of friends. Taking responsibility to welcome and include requires intentional skills and a caring heart.

Session #`3 Hurt
Who is hurting? Left out? Scared? Treated unjustly? Grieving? Bullied?
· Hurt is part of every person's story.
· Hurt is helped when someone listens.
· Hurt is not equal. What feel hurtful to one person may not to another.
· Hurt includes pain, frustration, loss, tender spots, and many vulnerable feelings.

The injured person in the Good Samaritan story is physically hurt. First aid is needed. But everyone carries scars of some kind. Hurt requires a caring compassion and ability to listen, as if you were in that person's shoes. Listening allows a person to talk, to tell the story they need to tell, to not be "should-upon" with cheap advice or easy fixes. Listening, in the context of trusted relationships, is genuine ministry, needed by all.

Session # 4 Help
What can I do? Who can I guide people to?
· Help does not come from quick fixes or giving easy advice.
· Help comes by guiding people to those who are qualified to care.
· Help comes from the power of praying with and for a person.
· Help can be offered, but is not always wanted.

God cures; we care. We are not the healer. Even the Samaritan takes the person to an innkeeper. The Samaritan does not need to be it all or do it all for the hurt person. The Samaritan seeks help. Participants learn to trust God in prayer and, when needed, guide the one who is hurt to qualified, trusted resources.

Session # 5 Hands
What are the needs we see? How shall we respond?
· Hands is the symbol for our caring and welcoming acts, our response to the gospel.
· Hands, feet, ears, eyes, and heart become some of the tools through which the Spirit of God works.
· Hands is our way of taking action, responding to the needs we see.
· Hands is our relational and physical service.

We find ourselves in the Good Samaritan story as it says, "Go and do likewise." All service begins with seeing. PML invites participants to be observant, sense the nudges of the Spirit, see the needs of friends, of people in their school community and beyond. This session encourages the group to consider what needs they see and how they will take action.

The Living Room Summit

2010-04-08T11:34:00.000-05:00

Family Ministry: Learn it where people live it!

Join Lyle Griner, Andrea Fieldhouse Griner, and Marilyn Sharpe in their own living rooms and congregations in Minneapolis, MN - the very places that people live their faith. June 22-24, 2010, experience three solid family ministries in three days.

With Andrea, experience her powerful Building Bridges, engaging families in learning faith practices, which they do in the congregation, then take home to do over and over again in their homes. Also learn her dynamic approach to Milestones Ministries.

With Lyle, learn to lead Full Circle Relationships, equipping adults to be authentic, available, and affirming and learning the skills to mentor children and youth on their faith journey. This is about the care and nurture of all of these children of God.

With Marilyn, explore two complementary approaches, teaching and supporting families to faithfully parent their children. Learn how your congregation can create, sustain, and nurture a parent support group and teach skill and faith-based parenting classes.

You’ve learned the language, read the research, studied the theology, and heard inspiring speakers. Now, it’s time to make family ministry a reality where you live and worship. Experience them. Learn them. Then, return to your congregation, ready to replicate and adapt what you have experienced.

Registration - including all meals, free resources, guided spiritual practices, 20 spiritual practices for families, and fun surprises - is limited to the first 15 to send a registration form and check for $295 ($350 after June 1) made payable to EveryDay, LLC to
EveryDay, LLC
9300 Queen Ave S
Bloomington, MN 5543_

For more information, questions, or registration form, call 612-418-5572 or email peermin@peerministry.org.

Temecula CA

2010-04-01T17:04:00.000-05:00

Welcoming the Stranger was our theme for the weekend.

It is always one thing to talk about ideas... but it is such a joy to be able to put real skills to it. As Mike Carlson said to me... “ Inspiration lasts for a day, but transformation lasts for a life time.”

STAY TUNED next week we announce the LIVING ROOM SUMMIT!

Youth GROUP OR Youth MINISTRY

2010-03-06T07:44:00.000-06:00

One faces inward...

The other faces outward...

There is a huge difference! Youth Group faces inward. It is about forming a club, which is mostly about itself. Youth Ministry faces outward. Youth gather to support each other, while being equipped with ministry skills and an attitude to care for friends, families and the world. Youth Ministry gathers with a sense of mission and purpose that reachs out.

Peer Ministry Leadership provides the foundational, relational, equipping tools you need. If you are only doing youth group, then it is time to begin a ministry that reaches out every day, everywhere, and in every relationship.

South Dade Dearnery of the Episcopal Diocese of Southeast Florida

2010-02-28T17:28:00.000-06:00

This is a picture of just some of the group that gathered in Miami. We had some very perceptive youth and very dedicated adults. Vashti and Pam had been through the training a couple years ago, but wanted more in the area to experience this from someone else in order to bring some legitimacy and help shape future possibilities.

I am most pleased that PML is starting to be understood as a core relational need for everything we do in youth ministry. People are understanding that this is not a side-bar. People caring for people is a necessary element of every church event.

Missoula MT --- PML training

2010-02-20T20:57:00.000-06:00

The switch we are making is from training just Adults to including Adults and Youth. The picture describes the group. We ranged from 7th grade to... well, older adults... like myself! As one of the pastors told me, “This far exceeded what I expected.”

I have to admit that as over 30 kids and adults gathered and I watched all the younger teens pile in... I wondered how it would go.

Two reflections... when you treat youth as valued leaders they will surprise us every time. They become the very leaders we wish them to be. Early on I learned I needed a staff to work with, and the very best staff was the youth themselves.

The second reflection... Trust the process. The PML training is good. It is very good. It works. The process is experiential and it is about the topic that is most important to youth, their friendships.

I am leaving Missoula a believer. Youth need to be included in the facilitator training.

As a Dad - As a Youth Minister

2010-02-16T08:18:00.000-06:00

AS a Dad

I have two boys. I wrote the following in the middle of the Black Hills one summer, as I pondered my role as a dad.

Things that I pray for you!
Passion for faith
Life led with integrity and values
Respect for others and yourself
Organizing priorities, money and time
Practice and knowledge of health and wellness
Responsibility as a citizen of neighborhood, community, country and the world
ove and taking responsibility for family
Willingness to work toward and accomplish purposeful and passionate goals
Be able to discern and accept that all in life is not fair, equal, or honest. In other words, to know enough not to get taken advantage of and to know when to stand up for things that are not just.
Enjoy life, people, faith, talents and arts.

Love. - Dad

I think this list served me well as a parent. It has also helped guide my own life. The boys have copies of this list. It has never been

a secret. I think it has helped them to know me.

AS a Youth Minister

I recently did a series of phone interviews with parents. I began by asking, "If you were to write a letter to your son/daughter, describing what you hope their faith and life may be like in 15 to 20 years, what would you say?" I was surprised st the appreciation these parents expressed that anyone was asking that question.

Some of the recurrent themes included the hope that their young adult would:

Be surrounded by intentional relationships with Christian adults and peers. From a parent's perspective, this was their biggest plea. "Help, I don't want to do this alone. I need others who affirm, uplift, model values and encourage my kids ."
Participate in and value a worshiping community. All hoped "Church" would be a constant in their child's future.
Continue to grow in biblical understanding. Often, this was expressed as a hope that youth could defend themselves. I sensed from these parents that they often felt ill equipped to explain much from the Bible.
Engage in faith conversations with peers, adults and households.
Live a life that is unprejudiced, open, and appreciative of diversity.
Demonstrate an attitude and practice of service.
Have a personal practice of prayer. Parents recognized that they could not "always be there."

Ask...

What are the values that guide your ministry? How would you develop your list of desired outcomes?
How are you asking parents about what their spiritual hopes for their youth are?
How would such guiding outcomes effect a families decision to join a congregation?

I often get asked to evaluate a youth ministry program in a congregation. Most often, they want to begin by talking about particular program, maybe remembering a program that was really great 12 years ago, or wishing they had something as glitzy as what 1st Church of Whatever down the road is doing. It is too easy to get stuck looking at one program brick in the road, instead of looking at where the road is going.

Own your youth ministries outcomes. Don't get caught looking at single bricks. Begin with the end in mind.

Metro Lutheran Teens Encounter Christ

2010-02-03T06:38:00.000-06:00

Some cold days spent with some very warm hearted people. This leadership group for T.E.C. is adapting their last day to include elements of Peer Ministry Leadership. They also hope to offer PML to past participants giving them further ways to live out faith and ministry beyond their weekends.

And a note from our host...

What a difference the Peer Ministry training has made in our Teens Encounter Christ program. Our entire council made the commitment to take the training so that we could better equip the youth, and adult, team members to better minister to the youth who come to our weekends. We have adapted our team meetings to include an abbreviated Peer Ministry training. It has infused our meetings with a greater purpose and enthusiasm. The result is a team more intentional in the way they reach out not only to the weekenders but to each other. What a blessing to see.

Gene Whitbeck, Vice President
Minnesota metro Lutheran Teens Encounter Christ

Gene Whitbeck, Vice President
Minnesota metro Lutheran Teens Encounter Christ

"Kids are either leading or they are leaving." WHAT IS CHRISTIAN LEADERSHIP?

2010-01-20T06:44:00.000-06:00

It is pivotal, necessary, and certainly foundational ... have I got your attention yet? The essential question for youth ministry is, "What is Christian leadership?" I look at the question on the page: it is short, it looks simple enough, but its significance leads to a lifetime of discussion.

Any youth ministry that is doing serious work begins with the end in mind. "What is Christian leadership?" must be at the forefront. What are the desired outcomes? Kids came. So what? Where are they now? Who are they now? Who will they be? I have said it over and over again, "Kids are either leading, or they are leaving." If the church does not offer substance, meaning, and, for me the big word is purpose, they have checked out.

We want kids to be Christian leaders. My fear? The leadership images we esteem, those we keep holding up and praising, revolve around microphones and committees. Real Christian leaders must be those who talk or sing into microphones or those who are elected or appointed to committees. Okay, those are important roles! I am not suggesting they go away, but the microphone and committee people exist to organize, edify, inspire, and gather the rest of us. Then, we need to equip, engage, and empower Christian leaders to daily live on the front lines of ministry.

After some months of asking questions, discussing, and reading, the Peer Ministry Leadership advisory team and I came slamming right back into the Good Samaritan story.

Christian leadership is best described in context of the Good Samaritan story (Lk. 10: 25-37) as caring and welcoming every day, everywhere and in every relationship.

We believe that all are called to a vocation of loving one's neighbor, as a response to a loving God, through a relationship with Jesus Christ.

The outcomes flowing from the Good Samaritan story are that a Christian leader...

Is Observant: Alert to the needs of others
Takes Action: Uses skills with confidence, led by a compassionate heart
Is the Improbable One: Knows woundedness from having been wounded
Comes Close: Listens patiently and explores what is the real need
Sacrifices: Willing to risk group security to give help
Crosses Boundaries: Gives help to others, no matter their identity or label
Seeks Help: Guides others to people who can help

These are the outcomes I want for kids. Instead of trying to teach or preach about it, Peer Ministry Leadership equips, empowers, and engages kids to live it!

EverDay's First Days!

2010-01-03T18:59:00.000-06:00

EVERYDAY incorporated is a new training ministry launched on Jan 1st 2010. Lyle Griner is the director along with leadership with a new advisory board and group of Associate Trainers. EveryDay is now the umbrella organization for several worthy and great programs, Peer Ministry Leadership (PML) being the cornerstone. The title EverDay was chosen as it defines ministry as a way of living every day, everywhere and in every relationship.

PML is couched in a Good Samaritan style of leadership that fits all youth. Youth most often see Christian leadership imaged in the context of microphones or committees. “Good roles, but they only fit a few youth. I believe Peer Ministry Leadership can give a better representation of Christian leadership as it equips people with caring and welcoming skills that will be used in the congregation but most importantly in all aspects of life.” Says director Lyle Griner. “Moving youth into leadership is essential as youth are either leading or they are leaving.”

EveryDay goals include deepening and broadening the use of PML into all denominations, congregations, campus ministry and youth serving organizations. Helping congregations better define Christian Leadership. Develop 50 new Training Associates representing all denominations and areas of the country. PML will be offered in various new ways and customized to work well with other groups.

EveryDay will also host training for Full Circle: Triple-A Adults, a program in which congregations can equip all adults with specific skills and ways to mentor a young person’s faith. Building Bridges teaches congregations how to gather families to learn a rhythm of faith practices with a belief that families need to practice hands on in the congregation before they will use them as an every day practice in the home. Growing Groups trains all small group leaders in a learn-by-doing style that results in confidence with using skills and a grounding in the relational mentoring.

EveryDay is also partnering with congregations who can not presently afford a youth minister, or who must wait to hire due to economic restraints. Training, organizing and mentoring youth ministry is a better option than not doing anything, or pouring efforts into things that don’t work.

Equip • Empower • Allow

2009-12-09T17:13:00.000-06:00

Episcopal Youth Leaders in the Diocese of Virginia invited me to join them at Phoebe Needles Center in Callaway, Virginia. The Diocese has only three paid youth ministers in Parishes. Thus the leadership relies heavily on the volunteering adults and a very vibrant faithful core of youth.

One of their issues --- maybe too many youth who want to be leaders.

I woke up this morning reflecting on Jesus’ disciples telling Jesus, “There are too many! Should we send them home?” Jesus’ coment? “Feed them.” And so they did. (Loaves and Fishes)

Youth are either leading or they are leaving. We either equip, empower and allow or the demands of others will prioritize kids time away. The church’s job is less about consumer programming, which assumes kids are attracted by more glitz, more gadgetry, with bigger, and better entertainment. Instead the church is about making of meaning, developing purpose, and giving responsibility in ways that kids know they count!

2009-11-28T20:32:00.000-06:00

* I am not there to solve it for them, but to merely help them through it. –Mallory

* It is extremely hard on a youth minister to deal with everyone’s problems all at once, but now Peer Ministers are equipped with the skills to help out. Many teenagers consult their friends first because it is more comfortable for them to do so opposed to talking to an adult. As Peer Ministers we are able to relate to other’s problems more than anyone else and be able to help them explore their alternatives. –Kari

* One of the most significant things from this training is the leadership ministry in my church and community that I am now involved in. After leading Bible studies, being a leader for youth group and other activities I seek new ways to go into the community to use my leadership skills. –Megan

* I use what I learned not only with my friends and peers, but also with my family and one day my career. –Nicole

* Before going through Peer Ministry training I did not handle conflict well. I had a hard time communication to other people how I was feeling and why I was upset, which usually resulted in an argument and frustration. The Peer Ministry training has taught me not to handle situations like this in a positive and constructive manner. How when I encounter conflict of any kind I am able to successfully use I-messages and other techniques. What I learned are successful and positive ways of mediating conflict and expre3ssing my opinions and ideas. –Jenny

* Before the session on Authority Figures I had trouble talking to my superiors and getting any results. I had always let my emotions get carried away leading straight down the path to getting nothing. After this session I leaned that one cannot talk to authority figures as if they are not in a place of authority because they are. I learned not to insult their judgments and to be courteous while still standing by my own values. –Andrew

* My family and I have started getting along better since I had Peer Ministry Training. Recently my mother and I had a disagreement. Usually that kind of thing turns into a really big fight but this time I put my Peer Ministry skills to use. I listened to what my mom was saying, and tried to understand it. Then I was able to tell her what I thought and why. We ended up compromising. It saved us some hurt feeling and we both got what we wanted. –Christa

PML Images

2009-11-11T09:52:00.000-06:00

As you view these images share what are the words and phrases come to mind? Do you have photos that describe Peer Ministry? I would love to see them!

Blessings,

Lyle

Madison, WI Triple-A

2009-10-25T10:28:00.001-05:00

I love sitting right in a group sharing and hearing the stories. An unforgettable moment came from one participant, an adult, who told us he had only been in a church for the last few years.

As he laid out names of people who had shaped his faith in the various relational places of relationship he realized... "As I look at all those names I suddenly realize that God has been working on me my whole life. I just didn't know it."

EveryDay

2009-10-25T10:11:00.000-05:00

EveryDay may be a new twist on how some think of “ministry.” The emphasis is much less on the gathering and more on the living a spiritual life Everyday, Everywhere and in Every Relationship.

Peer Ministry Leadership is the cornerstone for EveryDay with the addition of several amazing opportunities to expand the ability of households and the empowering of adults who have dramatic effects on the faith lives of children and youth.

Please follow the Blog for ongoing updates, resources, articles, stories and references. The Peer Ministry FaceBook page is a great resource for continuing the ongoing resources.